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Archive for June 16th, 2012

An annoyance: Lean Cuisine Mushroom Mezzaluna Ravioli

Posted by Jeanne on June 16, 2012

You can see a previous annoyance regarding McDonald’s “Real” Fruit Smoothies here.

Advertising perturbs me, especially advertising about food.  Today, I will pick on the folks at Nestle, who own Lean Cuisine brand, for their stupidly named Mushroom Mezzaluna Ravioli.  This is how it’s described on the Lean Cuisine website:

“ravioli filled with portobello & button mushrooms, romano & ricotta cheeses in a creamy marsala wine sauce with spinach & red peppers.”

The ravioli are half-circle shaped.  Here is my issue with the name – a mezzaluna is a type of knife.  Specifically:

mez·za·lu·na [met-suh-loo-nuh]  noun:  a crescent-shaped, single- or double-bladed chopping knife, witha handle on each end or a connecting handle.

Available on Amazon! Do not eat knife.

There are no knives in this ravioli (which is as it should be!  Ravioli shouldn’t be sharp!).  I don’t understand that name thing at all – is it supposed to reference the shape of the ravioli?  Is it just supposed to sound Italian and therefore more authentic?  Does anyone really think that Lean Cuisine is a purveyor of authentic cuisine of any type?  Lean Cuisine is barely even cuisine!  Let’s look at the ingredients:

Ingredients:

BLANCHED PORTOBELLO MUSHROOM RAVIOLI (WATER, ENRICHED EXTRA FANCY DURUM FLOUR AND SEMOLINA [DURUM WHEAT FLOUR, SEMOLINA, NIACIN, IRON {FERROUS SULFATE}, THIAMIN MONONITRATE, RIBOFLAVIN, FOLIC ACID], FAT FREE RICOTTA CHEESE [PASTEURIZED WHEY, PASTEURIZED SKIM MILK, VINEGAR, XANTHAN GUM, VITAMIN A PALMITATE], SKIM MILK WITH VITAMIN A ADDED, WHITE MUSHROOMS, BREAD CRUMBS [BLEACHED WHEAT FLOUR, YEAST, SUGAR, SALT], PORTOBELLO MUSHROOMS, SWISS CHEESE [PASTEURIZED MILK, CHEESE CULTURES, SALT, ENZYMES], WHOLE EGGS, ONIONS, PARMESAN CHEESE [PASTEURIZED PART SKIM MILK, CHEESE CULTURES, SALT, ENZYMES], ROMANO CHEESE MADE FROM COW’S MILK [PASTEURIZED MILK, CHEESE CULTURES, SALT, ENZYMES], WINE [WINE,SALT], FOOD STARCH-MODIFIED, PORTOBELLO MUSHROOM POWDER, GARLIC, SALT, SOYBEAN OIL, PORCINI POWDER, SUGAR, SPICES, PARSLEY), SKIM MILK, RED PEPPERS, SPINACH, WATER, PARMESAN AND ASIAGO CHEESE BLEND WITH FLAVOR (PARMESAN CHEESE [CULTURED MILK, SALT, ENZYMES], ASIAGO CHEESE [CULTURED MILK, SALT, ENZYMES], ENZYME MODIFIED PARMESAN CHEESE [CULTURED MILK, WATER, SALT, ENZYMES], WHEY, SALT), 2% OR LESS OF SOYBEAN OIL, MODIFIED CORNSTARCH, MARSALA WINE, MUSHROOM BASE (SAUTEED MUSHROOMS, SUGAR, SALT, CANOLA OIL, MALTODEXTRIN, ONION POWDER, 2% OR LESS OF POTATO STARCH, HYDROLYZED WHEAT GLUTEN, MUSHROOM JUICE CONCENTRATE, CARAMEL COLOR, NATURAL FLAVORS, GARLIC JUICE CONCENTRATE, ONION JUICE CONCENTRATE, SOYBEAN OIL, XANTHAN GUM), MUSHROOM FLAVOR (MALTODEXTRIN, MODIFIED CORNSTARCH, FLAVORING, MUSHROOMS, SAFFLOWER OIL, POTATO MALTODEXTRIN, ASCORBIC ACID, CARAMEL COLOR, CITRIC ACID, GLUCOSE), BUTTER (CREAM, SALT), SEA SALT, GARLIC PUREE, CHICKEN BROTH, YEAST EXTRACT, DEHYDRATED ONIONS, POTASSIUM CHLORIDE, CARAMEL COLOR, NATURAL FLAVORS, SEASONING (MALTODEXTRIN, FLAVOR, ENZYME MODIFIED BUTTERFAT), SPICES, LACTIC ACID, CALCIUM LACTATE.

Holy shit.

So not only does it have a stupid name, it’s also got about a billion ingredients and probably doesn’t taste that good.  So annoying.

Posted in Not about food, Soapbox | 5 Comments »

 
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